Sunday, November 13, 2011

trials + transitions

Just as I lamented on Friday, my brain has been a bit mushy lately. It's frustrating to let others down. I get irritated with myself for not meeting others' expectations or my own. Part of the problem is I expect too much of myself. I try to do too much on my own, forgetting to rely on God and let Him guide me gently to where He wants me to be and what He wants me to do.

I really want to be careful about taking on too much before I'm ready. I've learned this lesson with the trials we've been through lately. I keep finding myself saying "it's been one thing after another" in reference to the events leading up to and following Desmond's birth. It feels like we haven't really had a break or any down time. I don't know why I would expect either of those things with a newborn and a toddler!

All that to say that I'm going to be very careful about what I take on. I'm going to do my best to immerse myself in prayer over the timing of things before making any decisions. Namely, transitioning back into my part-time job. I miss it and I want to take it on now, but I don't want to do it badly. I know that we need to figure out our new normal now that we're all healthy and Demond is beginning to exhibit some signs of a daily routine, before I add something else to the mix.

We've had some other personal hardships at home, and a big loss in our circle of family and friends. It has been one of the most difficult weeks of my life and I'm really looking forward to moving on and letting God's peace wash over me.

Friday I was planning on posting a feature and giveaway for all of you but I had forgotten an important component and ran out of time to get the information I needed. I hate to let people down in this way, but am so thankful for the grace I received in the process. Lucky for all of you, the giveaway will be up first thing tomorrow morning!

1 comment:

  1. I have felt the same way since Link was born. I don't know why I expected things to be easy like they were with just Anna. Two babies are hard! My kids are SO different and I just can't seem to catch up. It is wise to not take too much on too soon. I didn't really take that advice. I wanted to prove that I was some kind of super mom or something and have failed miserably. Things won't ever be the same- you just have to change your perspective and enjoy every little bit with your kids while they are at the stages they are in. The things that need to get done eventually will, your hubby will always truly believe you are beautiful and God will provide for your needs! You have two wonderful children and a husband that want nothing more than your love and attention. The rest of the world (and your house) can wait because this is the season that you are in!


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